Originally posted on Facebook on August 12, 2017
You want the real truth? Here it is…
I’ve been in a funk these past two days. I’ve found myself getting emotional and breaking into tears for reasons I’m not able to put my finger on.
And you know what? This is what being fully present feels like sometimes. This is what happens sometimes when you stop numbing yourself. And I’m absolutely okay with this.
We are human beings living in the world and are constantly exposed to experiences. Sometimes these experiences trigger our past wounds and our fears.
Committing to quitting your numbing practices doesn’t mean life is going to be all flowery and sparkly. Nothing can guarantee that, not even the best spiritual practice ever.
Life happens, and we can’t always control what it sends our way. Of course, we can choose how to respond to it, but living a fully present life doesn’t mean you only get to feel the positive feelings.
More often than not, by opening yourself to uncomfortable feelings, you get to uncover precious insights and information. And usually, the more uncomfortable the feelings, the more precious they are for your healing and your growth.
The reason I’m sharing this with you is so that you know that there is nothing wrong with feeling scared, sad, angry or vulnerable sometimes. And it certainly doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong. Quite the opposite.
These past months have been like living a dream for me. But it also occasionally happens that uneasy emotions come up.
Last time was around the full moon/summer solstice, and this month’s full moon has something to do with these past two days’ funk, as it’s all about releasing what no longer serves us.
As I sat down and cried this morning, I felt relief in feeling a pain I couldn’t name and letting those tears out, as I knew they would lead me closer to hearing what my inner self has to tell me, and closer to dealing with it.
Last night, I went out and when asked what I wanted to drink, I smiled because this is exactly where the old me would have ordered the first of a long string of drinks, in order to get a break from what was eating her insides.
Not drinking doesn’t mean you are safe from numbing. There is still a wide range of numbing tools you can choose from: Facebook, Netflix, sugar, food..
And I admit, had I not been off sugar and carbs this week, I might have been tempted to indulge in some comfort food, but I’m not going to do that.
I want to feel this through. I want to sit with my emotions. I’ve even recognised one of them: my old friend, Fear. And as weird as it may seem, I’m always grateful to be able to sit with her. Because it means I’m not running away from her, distracting myself and missing out on life.
Sitting with my fear means allowing myself to be brave and facing it.
Welcome your fears, for they are a great opportunity for you to call on your courage and your strength, even if this means being vulnerable and asking for help and support. It is what allows you to move forward, instead of being held back and giving away your power.
Feel the discomfort. It is part of your progress. Feeling is healing.
How have the past days been for you? Have you been dealing with uncomfortable emotions too?
