(originally published on Facebook)
About two years ago, when I quit alcohol, I also made changes to my diet and tried to have a healthy diet, low in carbs, sugar and dairies, due to slight intolerances that I have. It wasn’t easy at first, but after a while I started getting used to it. It felt amazing and my body felt light and healthy.
However, the first half of 2017 turned out to be very challenging for me. I left a relationship, I moved country, and I worked on getting my book published, which meant a lot of inner work.
In July, after my book was published, I went to London for a long weekend and decided to treat myself to a full weekend of splurging and gave in to cakes, desserts, and all sorts of food in general. I thought: “It’s only for a weekend, I’ll get back to my healthy diet once I go back home!”. But….my body got such a big buzz from it that when I came back home, I found it hard to go back to normal again. There was always a reason, an excuse, to put it off.
My senses were loving it in the short term, but then it didn’t feel so good anymore. My body is sensitive to sugars (especially flour) and high quantities always cause imbalances in my body. As much as I love pasta, pizza and bread, they give me heartburn, as well as other side effects. And yet, I still found it hard to say no when I was invited to eat pizza or a hamburger. I didn’t want to be the one with “special” needs, or the one who’s different from the others, even though I knew these were choices I had to make if I wanted to stay healthy. And I have to admit, I also wanted that pleasure of the senses and it made everything harder.
Yesterday morning, I had an insight. I went to my first tennis session after a two-year break, and it felt sooo good. I came home and made myself an XXL green smoothie and guess what, it felt AWESOME. My body felt light again, not under the pressure of digesting things it actually can’t process properly.
This reminded me of my journey with alcohol.
For so many years, my mind knew that alcohol wasn’t good for me, and yet, the temptation to have a drink was too strong to resist, and the buzz it gave me was hard not to pursue. This can happen so often (and this is actually a key principle of addiction, whether it is with food, alcohol, or even toxic relationships).
Last weekend, I visited and new town, and obviously, as I do, I experimented with the local cuisine. I ate pizza, pasta, pastries, but although they were absolutely delicious, by the end of the weekend, I knew in my body that the time had come for a change.
It’s only been a couple of days, but I’m committed to shifting back to my healthier diet and being loving to my body, giving it a break from the stress of all the carbs and sugars of the past months, especially because I’ve realised that loving my body doesn’t mean only giving it instant gratification, but also feeding it with what actually makes it feel good in the long run as well.
Just like when I quit alcohol, I heard the voice of my hungry stomach yesterday that was trying to convince me to get a slice of pizza from the shop next door, instead of waiting for my lentils to be cooked. I know that voice. I know it so well, and that’s why I chose not to listen to it. I realised how it sounded exactly like the one that used to crave for the immediate rush of pleasure and the high that alcohol used to bring to my life.
I now know better though. I know that if I made it to quit listening to that voice, I can definitely course correct those unhealthy food habits I have been entertaining these past months. And I know that the more I move forward and choose to stick to my path, the more my body will feel grateful for allowing it to go back to its natural state of (well)being.
One day at a time, I know I can do this. And I know you can keep going through this alcohol experiment as well!
We can. And we will. Are you with me?