Have you ever found yourself writing, erasing, re-writing, re-erasing, and spending something like 10 minutes to write a two-sentence message? Or mentally writing and editing over and over again a conversation you’re planning on having with someone? I used to be like that. To be honest, it still happens to me from time to time. Like, just now, for example, when I started to write this post. But luckily, as I was writing the words “writing, erasing, re-writing”, I realised that was EXACTLY what I was doing! Kicked myself in the butt and focused on getting my message through, rather than finding the perfect combination of words to line up in the best way possible. Am I not the one whose welcome message is “The aim of language is to communicate” ?!! Sometimes I wonder if my brain has some sort of filter preventing it from processing my own words. But anyway, here I am. The aim of language is to communicate, so communicate I will.
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So where was I? Writing, erasing, re-writing, mentally rehearsing a conversation and constantly editing it. I used to do that so often. I would always try to make things sound better, nicer, more this and less that, to accommodate the other person, to give a certain impression about me. That would burn so much of my energy. FEAR. Fear consumes so much of your resources. And that’s precisely what’s happening in this very moment as I am (NOT) typing. I’m staring at the screen, wondering whether what I have to say is worth it, whether it matters, whether it will make me seem stupid, whether people will read my post and think “Who does she think she is? “. Fear of being judged, fear of not being good enough, fear of being laughed at, fear of being less than. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Fear. She’s been faithfully following me through all my life, almost never leaving my side. Hundred percent devoted to me, always with some piece of advice to give. Ah, my dear Fear, why don’t you go have a cup of tea while I finish this post? I promise I’ll sit down and listen to you once I’m done..
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A few months ago, I was watching a training video by Gabrielle Bernstein. At one point she said this beautiful sentence that struck me right where it should: “Your power lies in your ability to be real”. What does this mean? What power? How can we be powerful when we’re real? Doesn’t being real mean to expose ourselves, and therefore be vulnerable? How can being vulnerable make us more powerful? Well, it’s simple. Everyday, as life unfolds, there is an active part that we play. A part where we need to make decisions, take actions, say things, do things, etc. Sometimes, our actions or words do not reflect what we feel deep inside. When we do things we do not want to do, we take power away from ourselves and hand it to whatever it is that made us do it. When what we feel inside doesn’t align with what we are saying, we are forcing our inner Self to be somebody else. Forcing someone to do something means taking away any power they might have.
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Simply put, aligning HOW we are with WHO we are, is a way to honour ourselves.By doing so, we are showing ourselves we matter. And do you know what it feels like, when you feel that you matter? You feel POWERFUL. Yes. And when you are true to your word, and true to your world, there is no more internal struggle. No more trying to find the right words, no more trying to be someone you’re not, because you will just be yourselves. Life becomes one notch simpler. No more energy going down that pipe, which means more energy for you to shine brighter.